And So It Goes
by Andie Rae
Summary: This story takes place approximately one month after Season 7, Episode 1. TIVA TIVA TIVA. Will Tony and Ziva ever reveal their true feelings? Not a highly refined story - just writing my daydreams down for all of you to enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**And So It Goes**

This story take place about 1 month after Season 7, Episode 1.

Tony and Ziva --- TIVA!

PG

I rushed writing this story... just sharing with my fellow fanfiction peeps my daydreams about the series. Could develop this much more, but why? The next episode of the season will only change my daydreams completely. :)

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RIGHT, I don't own a THING... not a single character. All credit goes to NCIS and CBS.

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One might think it should be business as usual at NCIS, but it is not. Ziva had been rescued from Somalia and returned to the United States with her team. However, not everything was back to normal.

Ziva's return did help Gibbs, McGee and Tony out of their funk. Director Vance was pleased that cases were being solved efficiently again, but Gibbs wasn't satisfied. The team really hadn't clicked. Ziva had been put on part-time duty and was regularly seeing a naval psychologist to overcome post traumatic stress syndrome. Technically, she really shouldn't have been back to work, but it was a fine line they were walking since she was still not a U.S. citizen. Vance did change her title from Mossad Liaison Officer to Foreign Operative Advisor specializing in terrorism, but the primary goal was to get her citizenship completed so she could become a full-fledged Special Agent, and not venerable to her father's interest in bringing her back home should he want to force the issue.

The biggest problem with the team was Tony and Ziva's behavior toward one another. Even Abby pleaded with Ziva to be a bit more understanding toward Tony who in fact defended her honor in his quest to kill Saleem. Nonetheless, Ziva remained cold to Tony. When they have to talk, its short and uncomfortable. There was no playful banter between them and no kind or appreciative words to one another. Tony, in turn, had become increasingly sarcastic and verbally tortured everyone with receiving no thanks for doing what partners are supposed to do for one another. He thought Ziva would be more grateful for what he did.


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs has had enough. Tony and Ziva's behavior was going to break the entire team apart again. He was beginning to second guess brining her back on as an agent. He knew Ziva had it in her to return to being a great agent, but he had to bring a stop to this destruction.

Gibbs took long strides straight toward his best agent's desks and didn't slow down when he barked, "DiNozzo, David, in my office NOW!"

Tony jolted back in his chair forcing it to skid back and stopping abruptly as it hit the wall behind him. He stood up quickly and followed Gibbs to the elevator without making eye contact with Ziva. Ziva's eyes were peeled open wide and she marched to the elevator preparing to defend herself.

Once inside the elevator, both Tony and Ziva were backed into the metal wall with Gibbs' evil stare. No one spoke a word as Gibbs turned around and jammed the button to force the doors to close. Once the elevator started moving, he pressed the emergency stop button and turned around slowly. The sharp inhale of breath spoke volumes to the agents. They tensed up, waiting for him to give it to them.

Gibbs' blood pressure boiled over and he lectures them while pointing his finger in their faces. "I don't know what is wrong with the two of you, but I swear to God, just give me one reason to fire you and you'll both be out that door faster than you can blink!"

He continued to reprimand both for their conduct unbecoming of agents and delivered his ultimatum with a very serious and believable tone. Gibbs completes his tirade by slamming on the stop switch to make the elevator move and when the door opens up to the hallway, he turns around and glares so intently at Ziva and Tony that they are afraid to follow him out of the elevator. The doors slowly shut and we see Gibbs walk into autopsy to blow off some steam with Ducky.

"What has gotten into DiNozzo and David, Ducky?! I'm too old to have to be dealing with this stuff." Gibbs rants.

"Oh, Jethro, I don't think you should be too tough on them, Ziva's trauma will take time to heal from. Tony's been through a lot, too. It was you that taught him how to care more about your partner than yourself." Ducky points out insightfully.

"Right, Duck, but it's been over a month already. And it's been five months since the team has been at its best. I need things to come together. I don't need infighting." Gibbs complains.

Ducky recounts to Gibbs about a how he lost his wife and daughter so many years ago and how that pain hasn't gone away.

"Right, but Ziva never lost a spouse or a daughter." Gibbs states.

"Correct, Jethro, but she has lost all of her immediate family – only her father remains and their relationship is tenuous at best. The pain she feels is very deep. She's strong to have made it this far. In the meantime, allow Tony and Ziva to make amends on their own terms, not because they are directed to do so." Ducky says empathically.

Gibbs sees Ducky's point and leaves the room silently contemplating what he should do for his agents that he views like a son and like a daughter.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day at NCIS, the entire team has assembled in Director Vance's office. He has a mission critical issue that will require this team to work together in order to preserve national security. He informs them that they believe there's been a serious breach of security at the remote Naval Acoustic Research Detachment in Bayview, Idaho. It's where classified testing for U.S. nuclear submarines takes place to make them ultra-quiet. Intelligence integral to the submarine force's stealth attributes have been compromised by someone at that base. NCIS has been tasked by SecNav to find out if the mole is a naval officer or sailor or one of the many civilians that staff the naval station. Vance ends the briefing telling Gibbs to "Get your team on this one. I need everyone at their best."

Before leaving the office, and in front of the entire team, Director Vance states, "Agent David, you've been approved for full-time work. We'll need you on this one." And then before dismissing the group he adds, "Oh, and your father, Director David, spoke approvingly of you staying on at NCIS during our last conversation. I hope you concur."

Ziva's face was pure astonishment. It becomes very obvious to everyone in the room that Ziva and her father and not spoken since her rescue from the Somalian terrorist camp. Vance almost immediately regrets making the statement, but can't take it back now.

Ziva manages to squeak out, "Yes, Director."

The entire team cringed thinking about how heartless and cut throat of a father Ziva must really have not to have celebrated her life once finding out she was not dead.

Back in the bullpen, Gibbs assigns McGee to go brief Abby on the work they will be doing in regards to following the digital trail of evidence. Gibbs announces that he will be investigating along with other government agencies if any international country has been behind financing any sort of information gathering. Then, he informs Tony and Ziva that they will be flying out in two hours. "You're headed to Idaho… the both of you."

Gibbs secretly hopes that the isolation will finally give them the ability to work things out. He follows it up with a small prayer that this mission doesn't precipitate their demise.

Tony and Ziva know better than to argue since they are on probation.

Tony announces, "I'll headed home to pack up my belongings" with a fake smile plastered to his face.

Ziva looks back at Gibbs and then turns to duck away from his stare. She leaves silently but her gestures indicate that she will follow the order.


	4. Chapter 4

That evening, Tony and Ziva arrive at the naval station. They check into a local lodge near the small naval station. The area is very picturesque, a welcome change of pace from the political world they live in near D.C.

Right away, Tony and Ziva proceed to go head deep into investigating leads and conducting extensive interviews of naval and civilian personnel. They aren't technically speaking to one another, but they are communicating and even conducting some team interviews. They found a rhythm, and although no conversation has occurred to discuss their personal relationship, it seems as though things are at least defrosting.

The more time together, the more things seem to improve and at the end of a couple of long days of constant interviewing and report filing, Tony invites Ziva to dinner. Ziva pauses and looks back his direction trying to judge if there's any ulterior motive behind his invitation. Detecting none, she replies, "Okay."

They retire to eating dinner at the local lodge's restaurant. While sitting at dinner, the conversation is relaxed. Tony controls his sarcasm and Ziva does her best to be pleasant. It's actually less work than it has been for a very, long time. Ziva finds it hard to stay irritated with him and she actually starts to enjoy herself. Tony makes Ziva laugh while impersonating one of the civilians they interviewed earlier in the day. It was unprofessional, but just the sort of things to friendly co-workers might share after hours.

Not wanting to ruin a good thing, Ziva tries to excuse herself, "Thank you, Tony. This dinner was more than I expected. I'm going to head back to my room."

"Please stay. I feel compelled to order dessert, but I can't possibly finish it on my own. After all, you could use the extra calories," referring to her weight loss after being held captive for four months.

His rebuttal is effective, and Ziva sits back down in her seat. Tony motions to the waiter to bring them a dessert menu and quickly points out his selection.

While waiting for the dessert, there's a lull in the conversation. Ziva draws circles in the condensed water on her water glass. During the silence, Tony studies Ziva's countenance. She's always been a mystery. He likes that about her. It keeps him intrigued. He wonders about how she's handling her pain. He wants to be a better friend. And he's having feelings again about wanting to be more than friends.

Ziva is trying to figure out Tony, too. She decides she can't be mad at him forever. He has proven his loyalty to her, and she feels guilty that all the while she had thought he had betrayed her. She squints her eyes hard – trying to expunge the bad thoughts she had had about him over the past few months. She no longer hated him for killing Rivkin. She did her best to understand his side of the situation. She decides that all of his actions were done with her safety in mind. She would need to find a way to thank him….

Her thoughts are interrupted by the waiter who brings a special chocolate cake dessert over to the table. The plate has two forks, so Tony and Ziva can share. At that moment, Tony reaches into his pocket and slides a small candle into the cake and lights it with a book of matches from the ashtray on the edge of the table. Ziva furrows her brow, and Tony quietly adds, "You didn't think I'd forget it was your birthday, right? Now make a wish," his voice almost whispering.

Ziva is surprised and quite moved. No one else had remembered it was her birthday.

"I think making wishes is for little girls," Ziva says while trying to shrug off the notion.

But Tony won't allow it, "No, I insist. Everyone has a birthday wish."

Ziva closes her eyes and sits silent for a moment, thinking about her wish. After a few seconds, her head dips as a tear appears from underneath her lashes. Her eyes open and they are welled with tears. She leans forward and blows out the candle as a few drops free-fall from her face. She wipes her eyes with her hands and sits back in her seat. She makes out a small smile, trying to downplay her tears of sorrow. It's clear to Tony that Ziva feels alone in the world.

They leave the restaurant together and walk back to the main lodge on a dimly lit, tree-lined path. The wooded setting make them feel as if they are all alone at their own private retreat. The lodge's lights in the distance cast a warm glow among the dark night setting, but not bright enough to disrupt their beautiful starry sky.

Tony breaks the silence by saying, "Oh, I almost forgot…." and pulls a small wrapped gift from his jacket pocket. He continues by rambling, "Well, no I didn't almost forget, I've had this gift to give you for awhile, but I didn't know if you'd accept it from me. Now its your birthday so it's only customary that you would open it…" Tony fidgeted and looked nervous.

Ziva cut Tony off with a simple, "Thank you" and proceeded to open the small package. She gasped at the site of the gold Star of David necklace. For it wasn't just any necklace, but it was the same pendant she had for years before the gold chain was broken from her neck in Somalia. The chain was new, but the pendant was the most sentimental item she had ever owned. Her eyes welled with tears again and her hand covered her mouth as she dropped her head to hide her streaming tears and her shoulders shook from the soft sobs that rolled out. Tony stepped toward her and put his arms around her. He held her close in the brisk night air for several minutes. He let his chin rub the top of her head back and forth and his hand rub her upper back gently. She clutched his body and tried to will the tears to stop. They eventually did and their bodies parted.

"How did you even find this?" Ziva asked, motioning for Tony to help her put it on. She turned her back to Tony and lifted her hair up after handing him the necklace.

"It was luck, really, Ziva. After Gibbs arrived on the scene, he took my place in helping walk you out to the convoy to take you home. I went back into the cell and patted Saleem's vest down for any items we could find useful in finding his closest associates. I found your pendent in one of the vest pockets. I was sure you would want it back. I had it cleaned up and purchased a new chain for it." His large hands fumbled a bit with the clasp. It was hard for him to even be that close to the exposed nape of her neck without kissing it. As the clasp finally securely closed he watched as his opportunity to caress her bare neck escaped.

"Yes, well, thank you, Tony. This means the world to me." Ziva replied.

Tony put his arm around her and guided her into lodge. As they walked to their rooms, Tony asked with sincere concern, "You gonna be alright for the night?"

Ziva nodded. Tony unlocked his adjacent room door and just motioned to her that he'd be in the next room over should she need anything.

As she closed the door, she picked the pendant that was now dangling around her neck and pressed it to her lips. As she kissed the pendant, she slid down the door. When she hit the floor, she softly said, "I love you, too".

All the while, in Tony's room we see him close the door and exhale a large breath. He was holding back feelings he wasn't sure were still there, but after being that close to her, they were rushing back stronger than ever. He was grateful she didn't rebuff him for the feelings that he did reveal. His mind went directly to Billy Joel's song, "And So It Goes". He prayed if he showed Ziva his heart she wouldn't crush it.


	5. Chapter 5

In the morning, Tony and Ziva return to the base and contact Gibbs with their report. Gibbs informs them that McGee and Abby have determined the guilty party is the station's own commanding officer, looking to turn a few extra bucks for himself. Tony and Ziva are tasked with brining him back with them to D.C. for additional questioning and subsequent court martial. Fortunately they are able to apprehend the commander with no issue and are able to make a flight back to D.C. that evening.

Before leaving they take a final opportunity to see the beautiful mountain vistas. Ziva takes the private moment to tell Tony that she's forgiven him for Rivkin's death.

"Tony, we need to talk. I have some things I want to tell you. I know everything that happened with Rivkin and this spring was done because you were looking out for me. I forgive you for his death. I'm alive today because you were willing to put your life on eh line for me. I don't know how to repay you for that. I need some time to put my life back together, but I owe it to you for even having that opportunity." she ended her speech of appreciation by looking straight into his eyes and holding his hands in front of her. He stood there perfectly still as she stretched on tip-toe to kiss his cheek.

Tony childishly replies, "Ah, it was nothin'" with a big grin on his face. And then he nearly slaps the back of his head for not kissing her back. Then he nearly slaps the back of his head again for continuing to forget about rule number 12.

. . .

On the plane ride home Tony offers Ziva a shoulder to lean on to get some sleep. She sleeps soundly. He does not sleep himself, but does reveal to her that he really meant what he said in Africa… "I wasn't kidding, Ziva, I really cannot live without you. You are the one…" speaking quietly as not to wake her.

While she sleeps she remembers a distant memory of the day that Tali gave her the Star of David pendant. She gave it to Ziva stating lovingly, "I love you, Ziva, keep it with you always." Ziva replied, "I love you, too," and squeezed Tali's hand. It was the last time they ever saw each other. The necklace meant the world to her since it always reminded her of Tali.

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_Well, that's my daydream for all of you to enjoy. I hope the show puts Tony and Ziva together eventually. I thought this daydream was interesting because it shows how Tony's feelings are advancing faster than Ziva's. Did you like the little twist that the "I love you" was really for Tali, not for Tony? No worries, you shipper friends of mine, I'm sure Ziva will eventually come around. Just adding some angst._

_In case you were wondering, the lyrics to Billy Joel's "And So It Goes" are below. Kind of works well from either Tony or Ziva's perspective...._

And So It Goes

By Billy Joel

In every heart there is a room  
A sanctuary safe and strong  
To heal the wounds from lovers past  
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones  
You answered me with no pretense  
And still I feel I said too much  
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose  
It seems I only felt the thorns  
And so it goes, and so it goes  
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave  
Then that would be my worst mistake  
So I will share this room with you  
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed  
It's just as well for all I've seen  
And so it goes, and so it goes  
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you  
That's if the choice were mine to make  
But you can make decisions too  
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes  
And you're the only one who knows


End file.
